My Top 10 Movies for a Cold Winter's Day

Stoney counts down his 10 favorite cold weather movies to stash for your next snow day.

Winter is coming. Well….winter is technically here, but that doesn’t sound as cool as the Ned Stark catch phrase. Plus, I’m writing this on December 17th, so technically it’s still true right now. I don’t know how that works. Anyway, it’s about time for the roads to get slickernshit and the snow to fall. I’m ready to not leave the house for the next month, so I reckon there’s no better time to talk about my favorite winter movies. Y’all know – the ones that just feel cold. The ones that invoke images of snowfall, howling winds, and maybe even some motherfucking penguins. Something that just feels festive to fire up on a snow day.

I’m going to honorably mention The Shining, Fargo, and The Thing because I know I have some friends that would mention them in this conversation. But, I haven’t seen any of them.

My Favorite Winter Movies for Snow Days

10. Frozen – It’s not my choice for the G.O.A.T. of snow day animated movies, but I still recognize and appreciate the cultural impact that Frozen had on the world. Real recognize real. People are still out there singing “Let It Go.” Plus, you gotta little damn goofy lookin’ snowman dude runnin’ around. I can certainly live with putting this one on this list.

9. 30 Days of Night – What a shift – someone please do the Frozen > 30 Days of Night back-to-back and let me know how that goes. I think you do have to have a little creepy shit on your snow day playlist. Lean into all the isolation of winter – the quite literally dark days. I always felt like 30 Days of Night was a little under-appreciated. Also, what happened to the Josh Hartnett comeback? Did Trap derail that?

8. Miracle – Aside from Kurt Russell’s sweet sweet hair, this is a movie with a whole helluva lot of heart. In fact, it doubles as one of my favorite sports movies of all time. Miracle chronicles the tale of the 1980 U.S. men’s hockey team. And, please don’t forget – Kurt Russell’s hair.

7. Groundhog Day – Okay, Bill Murray is literally living the same cold day over and over. It’s Groundhog Day – one of the most underrated traditions of winter out there. It makes no sense, and we have our very own movie to celebrate it. Plus, did I mention Bill Murray?

6. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe – I know it technically has Santa Claus in it, so it’s bordering on more of a Christmas movie than a winter movie. Therefore, if your determining factor in whether a movie is a Christmas movie or winter movie is whether or not Santa Claus shows up, you might want to cross this one off the list. I’m cool with just a dash of Santa, so I’m including it here.

5. Ice Age – Lots of ice in this one. A key indicator of that would be the fact that ice is literally in the title of the film. Ice Age doesn’t get the credit it deserves, in my opinion, among the animated classics. Maybe that’s because all of the shitty sequels tarnished the good name of the original. But, the original is pretty damn good and it’s as “snow day festive” as it gets.

4.Hundreds of Beavers - A new instant winter classic enters the fold. The creative spirit is alive and well in Hundreds of Beavers. It’s bold to tell a story with no dialogue in this day and age. It’s even bolder to tell it in black and white. While we’re at it, let’s make it a comedy even though the backdrop for this tale is starchy, frigid, and cold. Yes, the whole thing seems quite paradoxical, and yet, it works so well. It’s so wintery, you’ll be shivering watching it.

3. The Grey – If you can’t get down with Liam Neeson literally fighting wolves in a snow forest, I don’t know how else to sell this one to you. Once more into the fray.

2. The Revenant – Damn, I’m getting cold just typing out ‘The Revenant.’ It has all the cold you can handle – mountains, ice, and revenge. That’s like the trifecta of cold. Not to mention, we see a man wrestle a giant bear in the woods. Everything about this one is as cold as ice.

1. The Hateful Eight – Everything about this one is *chef’s kiss.* To this day, it’s one of my favorite films I’ve ever seen. Tarantino piles on the winter vibes in this one – I’m pretty sure it’s snowing for the entire duration of the story. You can hear the howling wind, you can see the characters’ breath, and you get all the tension of an abrasive sort of whodunit. I make it a point to watch this one every winter.

What a fucking collection of movies.