For the uninitiated, we were snowed in here in the Nashville area last weekend. It was delightful. To me, a three-day snow-in is about the perfect length. It’s enough time to really enjoy the beauty of nature’s splendor without going stir crazy. Any longer than three days and I’m ready to get the hell out of my house. I stocked up on groceries last Thursday and planned a menu of roasts, beef stew, and junk food. I wasn’t going to leave the house until Monday.
Thankfully, the inclement weather also gave me some time to catch up on some 2024 releases that I missed throughout the year. Finding agreeable titles with my wife also home from work proved a bit cumbersome (she scoffed at Hundreds of Beavers, at one point asking, “are you done watching this weird ass movie?”). She’s not exactly the biggest Robert Eggers fan. I still don’t think she gets why I like Wes Anderson, and the last time I brought up Alexander Payne, she didn’t even remember the conversation we had not too long ago about all of his movies.
Easy watches, folks. That’s the point I’m getting at here. I had to settle for some easy watches….which is fine. Don’t get me wrong. I’m easy to please. But, the films we settled on left a little to be desired. When I got to the end of this run, I knew I’d have to share it with our subscribers. Please enjoy this bad run I had on Letterboxd last weekend.
Jackpot - I have no issues with a film that is garbage, knows it’s garbage, and leans into the garbage. The premise for this film is ridiculous. I mean, they’re telling you up front that this movie is going to be stupid. And, it is. It absolutely lives up to it. Oddly, I found that the moments between John Cena and Awkwafina alone were charming. There were a few chuckles to be had there. But, everything else was pretty cheap dialogue and a script that just felt like too much even with an already-established-too-much premise. You can absolutely be too stupid and still be fun. You can’t come across like you’re trying to be too stupid. That’s where I draw the line. 2/5.
In the Land of Saints and Sinners - This was probably the best of the bunch. I mean, Liam Neeson roaming around with a gun in his hand is as tried and true a story as has ever been told. It was a simple plot played out by actors who understood the assignment. While it was as basic as basic can be, I found that the sweeping shots of the Emerald Isle were mesmerizing. I’m a sucker for Irish culture, so inevitably, this film tugged at my desire to get away and see the landscapes of Ireland. 2.5/5…but mainly just because I need a fucking vacation.
Speak No Evil - Unhinged James McAvoy is about the only redeeming quality to this one. He seems to be having fun and that makes me want to have fun, simple as that. There are some tense moments in this one, as we continually inch closer toward that “when are they gonna figure it out?” moment. But, mostly, I was yelling at my television for Scoot McNairy to stop being a bitch and just swing on the guy. He was completely useless with his his jumping-off-a-roof ass. A bitch-made 2/5.
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice - It’s too much. It’s just way too much. It’s Beetlejuice on steroids, and I’m not sure we even needed a sequel to begin with. It’s fun to see Michael Keaton back in the iconic role, and the spooky vibes will always hit in October. But, they tried to cram a lot of lore into this one, and by the time we got to the end of it, I was thanking my lucky stars that it was over. 2/5.
Now, in addition to Hundreds of Beavers, which was a re-watch, I did introduce my wife to Challengers, a 5/5 movie after I watched it again. Those experiences were enough to hold me over. But, the reality is…I should’ve just trusted my own list and picked a few titles from my list of the top 10 movies to watch on a cold winter’s day!
I thought this might’ve been my worst streak on Letterboxd. So, like the credible journalist I am, I did the digging necessary to confirm. To my surprise, I actually had a worst stretch last year:
Don’t be like me this weekend, folks. Watch better movies.